As application deadlines get closer and it becomes more and more real that in three months, I will start receiving answers from the schools, I start doing some paranoid questioning of my profile and chances. I like my GMAT score, but that 80/80 benchmark starts to worry me, especially for Wharton. I read other people’s profiles and mentally berate myself for not starting my own business/acing every single college class/attending a better college/achieving some amazing unique feat/taking over the world.
I’m not good with things that I can’t control. My decidedly type-A personality does not react well to a situation where I put my heart and soul into something, but no amount of work or effort can guarantee an acceptance. My logical side tells me that everyone’s profile has some good and bad in there somewhere, and mine has good, too…I just obsess about the bad. I also consider that if I had achieved everything already, why would I be going to business school at all?
I’m keenly aware of the fact that there is every possibility that at the end of all of this, I’ll be staring at five dings and be left wondering what my next step is. I’m applying to five amazing schools, none of them safe. My chances are best at Cornell on a pure numbers basis, but I have no reason to believe that I have a sure thing there or anywhere. I start to second guess my decision not to apply to safe schools, and worry about what people will think if after all of this, I don’t get in anywhere.
I’m taking a risk here. And when I calm my worrying for a moment and consider logically why I have made my decisions, I realize that I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could. I’m not applying anywhere safe because I don’t want to go anywhere safe. The job I want after MBA will require a killer school reputation, and besides, I went to a teeny, unheard-of undergrad – I want to try out the big guys. I absolutely love every school I’m applying to, and if I get an acceptance to any one of them, I will be hopping up and down in excitement.
Better yet, there’s nothing stopping me from improving my profile over the next year and trying again. I’m not super risky in a lot of areas, but this is a place where I’m willing to put myself out there. I have nothing to lose…who cares what people will think if I don’t get in? All I know is that if I don’t give this everything I’ve got, I’ll regret it. And that’s what I wouldn’t be able to live with.
My step-sis posted this on facebook today, and I find it very appropriate to my current position. It’s edited slightly from Dr. Laura’s original comment: “Accomplishment…is not just about doing something…it is about the courage to persist through pain and failure and self-doubt, to go past ’splat.’”
As you can imagine, the “splat” referred to is any given failure or setback in one’s life. I’ve had plenty “splats” of my own, and I’m sure I have many more to look forward to. Everyone does it…it’s how you react that matters. But if I never risk anything because I’m afraid of the pain, self-doubt and the possibility of a “splat,” I’ll never really accomplish anything, either.
Read the full article: Pep Talk Time