OFFICIAL HBS TWO +TWO = NOT YOU LETTER, it’s like the Shamwow –you’ve been rejected –but wait, Keep Reading, there’s more –borrowing frm the world of cable infomercials, funeral sales, and even TP ads, HBS creates the perfect ding letter.
You did not make the last squeeze but KEEP READING,
September 1, 2009
Dear Dingbell,
I am sorry to inform you that we are not able to offer you admission to the 2+2 Program at Harvard Business School.
Please keep reading.
I speak for the entire Admissions Board when I say that we were very impressed with the candidates who came to campus to interview. We will all remember the uplifting and positive atmosphere in Dillon House during the week of August 17. Every single one of you had a positive interview. [Even the kid who barfed and the two girls from Japan who it turns out really don’t speak English.] We have no questions about your ability to do top level academic work. We find your experiences and energy to be noteworthy. Your commitment to changing the world is inspirational. Our daunting challenge was not to rank order you in any way [oh no, we dont do that], but to compose a cohort with maximum diversity and texture [ texture?????, this is sounding more like an ad for TP than TPT] . These decisions have been among the most difficult I have experienced in a long career. I mean, how hard is it to ding geezers, even really talented ones.We have created bandwidth [!] to speak to each of you personally if you wish. This isn’t for the purpose of critiquing your 2+2 application (which was perfect) but an attempt to indicate our continued interest in each of you. We hope that many of you will be students here at some time in the future. But see our note at the end about free lunch program for reapps. We hope that all of you will be MBA students somewhere. The world needs your passion and talent and we think the MBA is a degree that will open many important doors.
Should you wish to speak with us, please call HBS Mortuary Services at 617-999-9999 and we will make arrangements.
(and also enlist you in our perpetual care program, where your dead app can be trimmed by our expert gardening staff forever)
Please know that we recognize the time and effort you put into your application. Your spirit of adventure in approaching this program has been transformative for us and we are deeply appreciative.
Also, for those of you who became addicted to our frantic Twitter “countdown’ feeds, in the good old days last June, before we actually had to, ahem, “decontexturize” some of you (well, most of you)–we are issuing that in a special DVD, w. a director’s cut (hard to get that mania into 140 characters, so we got some deleted material in there).
Have a great year, and we do regret that our endowment meltdown and budget cuts constrain us from giving you any more free lunches, even if you plan to apply as a senior. You can apply as often as you like, but we don’t have to keep feeding you!
HRH DCL ETC ETC
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